Some thoughts on my homeschool

Recently, school has been an utter drag.  I haven't even wanted to get up in the morning to face the day because I know there will be complaining and tears and fighting and every step of the way just seems like that.  I've come to a realization, after looking around the inter webs and finding other moms who feel JUST like me in the same situation.  I've been trying to make Nathan measure up.  I've been trying to force him into a mould with his "peers," overly structuring things, trying to duplicate what I think "they" are doing in Kindergarten elsewhere.  I've been trying to meet some standard because I thought that was what I was supposed to do.  Have him reading by 6, writing by the end of Kindergarten…the list goes on.  Why am I doing this?  It seems so silly to me, when I step back and really take a look.  The whole reason I chose to homeschool was to allow my children to learn at their pace, to come into their own on their time with my love and support and encouragement.  How I've been doing things up until now has made me feel like a failure, and no doubt has made Nathan feel the same way.  But the truth is, I am not a failure, and Nathan is a very smart, curious and wonderful little boy.  He doesn't have to measure up to anyone, and neither do I.  It seems simple enough, so why is it a constant struggle to remind myself of this…to not compare and measure and wonder.  No more.  I want my children to love learning.  I want to enjoy exploring with them, seeing them understand things for the first time, watching them reach goals of their own, not someone else's.  Structure never really works for a 5 year old anyway, and certainly not a 3 year old!  What was I thinking?  I found this blog post which made me feel immensely better about it all http://simplehomeschool.net/help-my-5-year-old-wont-do-school/   I am not alone, and I can do this.  I will be confident and I will succeed, and so will my kiddos because they are allowed to have their own timeline.  There is no one-size-fits-all.  I just have to make sure I don't lose sight of that!