Ah, the days are getting longer and my mood is rising.  I am feeling better and have more energy to a certain degree.  The house is mostly back in order and I am back to being able to cook meals like I used to.  Now, I'm just waiting for spring thaw.  I keep randomly wanting to do things like go camping or roast marshmallows over our firepit in the back yard, but alas those things must wait until spring and summer.  When spring finally does arrive, we plan to paint Nathan's room and the guest room.  Originally we were going to go for the whole house minus the bathrooms, but at this point I am questioning whether I want to tackle the kitchen and living room.  That is a big job with lots of obstacles and complications, and I will be 7 months pregnant to top it off.  So, I'm thinking we will settle for Nathan's room and the guest room.  We aren't going to be living here for long, so I think having the bedrooms custom colors will be enough to satisfy my aggravation at having had white walls in the past 4 places I've lived and being able to do nothing about it.  Later on in the year we will have to get a separate bed or bunk bed for Nathan when the new little one takes over the crib.  I am hoping to find a bunk bed that comes apart and can be made into two single beds, like I had when I was growing up. 

We are building a toy box for Nathan so that he can actually put all of his toys away when he is done playing with them.  Right now, they are scattered all over his bedroom floor, and that very much bothers me.  Anyway, we are making it out of pine and it is coming along nicely.  We will probably stain it in the summer so that it is closer to the color of the rest of the furniture in his bedroom, but I am not sure.  I've toyed with the idea of painting it as well, but we shall have to see.  I am thinking about sketching some pictures to put up on Nathan's bedroom wall...perhaps Winnie-the-Pooh as we have been reading that to him and he seems to enjoy it.  Maybe nature scenes or sailboats.  I was never one for decorating the super cute baby room or whatever like some people do, but I would like to put something up because his walls are mostly bare and that seems boring to me.  I am also thinking of collecting some family photos to be framed and put along our hallway.  I have two up already of my mom and of my sister, my mom and myself when we were younger.  I was holding off because we were planning to paint the main area this year, but now that it looks unlikely that that will happen, I am going to go ahead and start decorating the walls.  The people who owned this house before us had nails up all over the place and we sort of just took them over for some of our photos rather than putting new ones in.  But, I don't like where they are situated so I am going to take some of them out and fill the holes and put new ones where we want them to be.

So far, I love owning our own home.  It is so nice to be able to make your own decisions regarding your property instead of having to think of what a landlord might say.  Of course it is also a lot more responsibility, which is scary in ways.  Mostly, it's nice to know that it is an investment part of which we hope to get back when we sell the property as opposed to just saying "bye bye" to rent money every month that is twice as expensive and you know you will never see again.  I will be sad to go back to renting after this, since we don't plan to buy at any of Mike's next duty stations until we settle down in one spot for good.  I hate renting!  It's odd to think of settling in one spot, though.  We are so used to moving around every couple years that it's almost a habit and you start to feel like "OK, it's time to move on to the next place" after a certain period of time.  It has its aspects of adventure and new experiences, I guess.  It can be stressful and annoying, but it's weird to me to think of trying to find a spot where we will be happy for the rest of our lives.  Where would that spot be?  Would it be back in Pennsylvania?  Would it be out west in the mountains that I always long for so much when I am back in PA?  How do you choose a house and property that you plan to keep for the rest of your life?  I suppose we will probably end up back in Pennsylvania, though.  In the end, what matters most is family, and since most of our family is back in PA, it would make sense to go back.   

I have this pet peeve that tends to annoy me more than I should probably allow it to do so.  So when a woman gets married, she usually takes her husband's last name, right?  Ok, that's fine, I did and I figure one or the other has to take the other's name or things get too darn confusing; like when people hyphenate names or keep their maiden name.  Too long, too confusing, annoying for posterity and their future spouses to have to deal with.  Anyway, so usually the wife takes the husband's last name.  So here is my issue: I took my husband's last name, but I kept my first name...so why do people still insist on the old fashioned form of address that looks like this

Mr. & Mrs. Michael Henriques

My name is not Mrs. Michael Henriques!  My name isn't Michael at all!  My husband doesn't own me, my identity does not meld into his, I am still a person all my own.  Yes we are One in some respects, but I still exist as Emily.  I guess it bothers me because it seems that since I've been married, more and more my identity (my name) is slipping into the darkness of non-acknowledgement (I've already given up my last name for goodness' sake).  Anyway, it's a pet peeve, and I probably shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.  No, I am not mad at you if you have addressed me in this way before, but here is my preference (I know it is longer to write and you probably don't care, but it makes more sense to me from a linguistic perspective):

Mr. & Mrs. Michael & Emily Henriques
or
Michael & Emily Henriques

I usually prefer the latter as it is much less formal and it doesn't make me feel old ;)  At any rate, I just felt like writing that down, so take it or leave it hahah.

Lately, Nathan has been a real devil.  It seems like ever since we've returned from our trip to PA, he has a horrible attitude and he hits and bites and all manner of nasty things.  Where is my good little boy?  Where did he pick up these nasty habits?  It is so frustrating sometimes, especially since I usually have no way of getting away for a little bit of me time.  I suppose this was bound to happen at some point, or at least everyone tells me about the "terrible twos," which I guess he is starting a little early.  I guess we just have to be vigilant in correcting him, even when it seems like it just bounces off his head because he is doing something bad again two minutes later.  I really don't want to be that family that has real brats for kids, you know.  The ones you always look at and think, "man, I would never let my kid get away with that!"  But now he's doing things that I vowed never to let my kid get away with, and I don't, but he still does them anyway!  On top of everything else, he has been waking up in the middle of the night and screaming bloody murder.  Normally, I try to let him go back to sleep on his own, but it just seems like something isn't quite right recently.  I think he is either sick or teething something aweful.  I hope that ends soon.

We are finally getting snow again!  We had some a couple days ago and again last night, so we all went out and played in the snow today.  Well, apparently the baby didn't like that so I lost my breakfast because of it.  Oh well, I had fun until that point.  Now we are thinking about going to see a movie this evening, but I'm not sure if we will or not since the roads are probably not too great.  Amazingly enough, they actually plowed our roads the last time it snowed!  I couldn't believe it.  They haven't yet this time, though, and I'm not holding my breath.  Mike started to shovel the driveway today, and our neighbor from down the street came up with his fourwheeler and plowed it for us.  I thought that was really nice!  He is a retired Coast Guard veteran.  I guess he told Mike we should invest in a "toy" up here hahah.  Everyone has them, either fourwheelers, snowmobiles or dirt bikes.  We don't need anything extra to sink our money into.  I'm sure they are quite a lot of fun, though.  Well, I suppose that's all I have for now     

This past weekend was a four day weekend for Mike.  We didn't end up doing much but relax around the house on Friday, but on Saturday we went to an indoor water park in Anchorage.  I'm starting to really feel the length of the winters up here since we haven't seen much above freezing since mid October, so I thought it would be a nice break from the weather.  I believe this was the fourth or fifth largest indoor water park in the nation, one or two behind Splash Lagoon in good old Erie, PA believe it or not!  Yeah, that surprised us too, but I guess where you have a long winter season, you end up with large, indoor water parks!  We really enjoyed it, and Nathan had a lot of fun too.  Unfortunately, there were no pictures taken.  I have a phobia of taking cameras near water, especially our Nikon.  We do have a waterproof case for disposable cameras that we got on our honeymoon cruise so we could take pictures snorkeling, but I just didn't plan ahead enough to think to have it with us.  Maybe next time!  At any rate, this marked the first real outing I've had since becoming severely sick with this pregnancy way back in early November, so that was nice.  I think I'm finally starting to feel better!  Unfortunately, after a day like that, I normally still need a day to fully recover.  It's frustrating feeling this weak and without energy (especially since men don't usually understand)!  I don't remember this with Nathan.  I'm hoping I start to regain my energy soon because the house is in very bad need of my attention.  Mike has been a wonderful husband to me, though, and he has been cooking a lot and helping me out with things.  I am so thankful to have him!

We relaxed on Sunday, and yesterday we went down to Anchorage and did some shopping.  I finally bought some maternity clothes!  I did have some things last time, but I skimped a lot and just tried to find stuff that was larger than normal instead of spending the money on actual maternity clothes.  Well, not this time!  I am treating myself, and let me tell you, they are comfortable!  I am a little sad that I am already to the point where I am not comfortable in my regular clothes at only 15 weeks, but everyone tells me you start showing earlier the second time around anyway.  I'm just hoping this baby is not going to be as big as Nathan was :-/  We did our Costco shopping for the month, too, which is always nice to get done.  I love coming home and getting everything put away and then being able to look at our stocked fridge and shelves and know that I don't have to go out and buy meat for another month :)  I know, I'm probably weird, but I really dislike grocery shopping.  I don't know what we would do without Costco because meat up here is so expensive everywhere else, but relatively reasonable there.

Today, I am just trying to get some stuff done around the house.  I've started to clean our bedroom, which I will hopefully finish after lunch.  The kitchen needs some attention, and definitely the dining room.  I need to get our files and accounting stuff in order since I have fallen behind for the past 2 months being sick.  I am avoiding that with every form of procrastination I can think of, because there is a giant pile of receipts waiting on my desk and I am DREADING the whole thing!  2 months behind, that is a lot of accounting!!  Yuck, but it only gets worse as we go, so I guess I better do something about it soon.  I think I will put a pork roast on for tonight, so that will be pretty easy.  I am really looking forward to spring!  The sun is climbing a little higher in the sky every day, and that's such a big deal up here!  It's funny how some things you don't pay much attention too elsewhere can be such a huge thing in some locations.  It's starting to look like the normal sun, instead of a little, weak, red ball down near the southern horizon.  We are supposed to start getting some snow again this week.  We've had a giant high pressure system over us for several weeks, but it is finally moving away and we will be getting moisture coming in from the Gulf.  I am looking forward to snow because we barely have any on the ground.  I have this really strong urge to try skiing lately too, which is no good because I am not allowed to at this point :(  Maybe next year I guess.  

Well, I should probably figure out something for lunch because I am getting really hungry.  Nathan is taking a nap right now because he slept in this morning.  Usually he is up at lunch time.  I will try to find some good pictures to post next time, perhaps of Christmas.       

Gah quick update: I just realized I did post once or twice after May 2009, so I apologize for the uber-recap below. Oops :-)

Well it's been far too long since I've posted anything on this blog! So much has happened in between my last post and now, it is nearly impossible to catch up. I guess I am simply not disciplined enough to write on this once a week. Maybe this will change because I've made some changes in my life recently that may lead me to look to this blog more often as an outlet for my constantly humming brain. So here goes:

Since my last post, I graduated from Edinboro University of Pennsylvania with a BA in Humanities and Foreign Languages and a minor in History. I gave birth to my son, Nathan Alexander, on May 22, 2009 at 4:40 PM. He was 9lbs 14oz and 22in long. Shortly thereafter we made the move to Kentucky where my husband was stationed at Fort Campbell. Finally our family was together!! First time since we were married in 2007! Ah, the military life! Anyway, recovery from Nathan's birth was long and hard because his birth was complicated to say the least. But after many months of pain, I was finally sort of back to normal. Summer 2009 we went to PA for Sarah and Frank Olon's wedding, and also for Casey and Randy Brewer's wedding. It was a good summer full of baby memories and happiness. It was also a hard summer full of long workdays for Mike. Fall of 2009 was uncertain for a while. Mike was either going to be deployed early 2010, or get his request for branch transfer approved and finally go to Military Police Captains Career Course at Fort Leonard Wood, MO. Thankfully, it was the latter that ended up happening, so once again, we packed up our little household and moved to little St Robert, MO. Missouri was full of spiders and tornadoes, so I am thankful that it was only six months that we had to be there. It was also dreadfully hot and humid, although so were Kentucky and Tennessee. After a short six months, it was moving time again. This time, we really got crazy and requested Alaska. So, at the end of June, 2010, we packed up again and started our long journey north. And a long journey it was, but we finally arrived at Joint Base Elmendorf Richardson, AK on July 15th! We searched and searched for a house that was just right, and we were blessed to find just the right one in Wasilla, AK.

So here we are, new homeowners at the top of the world. It is beautiful up here, but it is very lonely because our families are so far away. Nathan has been growing wonderfully, and we are expecting another baby on July 8th! We are experiencing our first winter up here, and it is cold and dark. I am definitely looking forward to spring thaw, whenever that is supposed to arrive. So, my recent life change was that I finally got rid of facebook. I know, I know, how long will that last, right? It does make it a little harder when they don't actually delete your profile, so you can go back anytime if you want to, but I intend to be strong. So what is so bad about facebook you ask? Well, nothing really I guess, but I have been long considering getting rid of it for many reasons. On top of that list, I spend way too much time on there. I've also found that it is far too easy to take what people post on facebook the wrong way. When you aren't speaking to someone where you can hear their tone of voice, or when people put up status updates and you think...oooh are they referring to me? Bottom line is, I'm fed up with it. Those of you who know me should know me to be a very outspoken and opinionated person. I don't balk at sensitive topics or controversial issues. As a result, I've apparently posted some things that have offended some people. Let me first state that my intentions are rarely to offend, but generally to provoke some form of thought. You know, that thing our brain does that many of us spent years at college nourishing and exercising (often times by discussing controversial or sensitive issues, may I add). Not to sound like a heartless cog, but I don't know of anyone who has gotten through life without being offended at some point or another. Quite frankly, if my opinions or my choice of topics to discuss offend you, then don't listen to me! It's ok, I won't be offended. And if I am, I'll deal with it because I understand that not everyone agrees with me and that's OK with me! I would be bored if everyone agreed with me for goodness' sake! At any rate, if I have ever offended you on facebook, I am truly sorry, that was never my intention. And I mean no offense now, but perhaps you should work on getting a thicker skin ;) So will I miss facebook? Undoubtedly yes. I enjoyed it as a tool to help me keep in touch with people who I don't ordinarily call or see every day. I enjoyed reconnecting with old friends whom I haven't seen for years. But I also hope that this will force me to be more connected with the people who really matter in my life. I will be forced to call or write a letter instead of just post a brief comment on a page. Who knows, but I intend to try. Will I be gone from facebook forever? I don't know that either. Maybe after a break of sorts, I will return and continue being my old, offensive self. lol, oh my. To my own credit, I did tone down my status updates and article posts after I realized that some of my friends may be getting offended. For a while I posted nothing but non-controversial menu items for dinner, or stuff about the weather. I guess I got bored, hah. I know, I'm hopeless. Well, maybe some of my friends and family will stumble upon my blog and you can keep up with tidbits of my life that way. Or, you can always call me if you have my number :)

I know I keep saying it, but I do intend to blog more, especially now that I don't have facebook! I feel that this will be my place to turn to when I feel the need to say something or want to update you on life in Alaska. I guess that's all for now

Wednesday last week all of our possessions were packed up in boxes and scattered around the house. It always feels so weird in the middle of a move when you go to get something in a familiar spot and it's not there. Everything seems unfamiliar and dislodged, like you don't belong anywhere anymore. On Thursday the movers loaded everything and we arranged to meet them on Friday morning in St Robert, MO. We finally found a house out there which is good, and it also allowed us to arrange this direct delivery, which is almost unheard of in terms of Army moves. Usually everything gets shipped and put into storage at the destination and then you have to contact transportation and set up an appointment to get it all delivered and sometimes that can take a while. Another downside to that is that your stuff gets a lot of extra handling in between when they offload it into storage and load it back up to deliver it...and in my experience extra handling of furniture especially out of sight of the owners is never a good thing.

So, after they left with our stuff, we decided to sleep a bit that night and leave super early the next morning to meet them out in MO which was supposed to work out just fine because they were supposed to have another load to deliver before ours and told us that it would be around noon before they got around to our place. This was good because we still had to go to the realtors and sign the lease on the house we had gotten and get the keys and smooth all that stuff out. We left at around 2am and made pretty decent time arriving in MO at about 8:30 for our appointment with the realtor at 8:45. Well turns out the movers called and were en route to our place and we still had all this stuff to take care of with the house before they were supposed to get there...what a morning it was. First we flew through the details with the realtor all the while receiving calls from transpo saying if we weren't at the house by 10 they would have to have everything stored, which would have totally screwed up our entire plan. Then we sped out to the house which we still had to do a walk through inspection on preferably before it was filled with all of our furniture. Then the movers came and started moving our stuff in, papers that we needed had been misplaced, Nathan was demanding constant attention, Mike and I were struggling to complete the move-in inspection on the house AND take inventory of our stuff as they were moving it in...in short, it was crazy. We managed to make it through alive, though we were thoroughly exhausted by the end. Everything was moved in on Friday, we set up all of the utilities that afternoon and started to unpack stuff. We unpacked some more things on Saturday, and then left to come back to Kentucky on Sunday morning because Mike still had to finish out this week of work and we still had to clear the old house and turn it over to the realtor.

Sunday night we cleaned the bathroom and Monday morning we had the carpets cleaned and we cleaned the kitchen and dining room in the old house, then we arranged to have it inspected on Monday night. Originally it was supposed to be Tuesday morning, but we were happy to have it out of our hands and turn the keys over on Monday night. And, we've been living in a hotel this whole week...so life has been a giant ball of nonstop fun recently hahah. So it is finally Friday, and tomorrow we head up north for Christmas and New Years and all of that fun family filled stuff. Wow, just recounting all of the past week's happenings has exhausted me! I did want to get a blog in though because I am once again falling behind on my promise...maybe it won't be so hard when life settles back down into some sort of routine. We shall see.

Wow
So I haven't been on here for a long time. So much for writing a blog every week like I intended. Now I have to sum up a whole half a year in one blog so I can get on track...well let me see...

Nathan Alexander Henriques arrived on May 22nd, 2009 at 4:40 pm. He was 9lbs 14oz and 22in long. I was induced at 7:00 am and the whole thing pretty much sucked until I saw him. I am not sure how to describe how it felt to hear him stop crying at the sound of my voice. He is so precious and his parents adore him ;)

Finally moved down to Kentucky in early June about a week after he was born...that was tough. Mike didn't end up getting sent to West Point after all, and my gratitude goes out to his commanders for their understanding of our situation. Summer was a whir of taking care of Nathan. It was wonderful really, lonely at times because I don't really know anyone down here and Mike is at work a lot, but still wonderful. We went to concerts on post, we spent the fourth of July with my mom who came down to visit. We went camping out at Land Between the Lakes with Nathan. My only compaint...it took me a lot longer to heal from the birth than I think it takes most women, and it was very painful for a long time.

Fall came without me even knowing it. I realized how much I gauged my seasons off when I started school and when breaks occurred, and since there was no school to start it has all blurred into one big mass of not-feeling-like-it-should-be's. By this I mean I keep thinking to myself "it doesn't feel like it should already be (fill in the blank)!" For instance, it doesn't feel like it should already be December! We spent our 2 year Anniversary in Chattanooga at a cabin in the mountains. It was wonderful! We spent Halloween at home and I was very sad because I did not get to the pumpkin place on time so I didn't get to carve a pumpkin. We spent Thanksgiving together here in our home with lots of turkey and the whole deal. Nathan has been growing like a weed the whole time. He is now 6 months old and he fits 12 month old clothes. He's a giant. He has a personality and a temper to match his size, too.

Now I come to the present. We are getting ready to move, again. Mike got a branch transfer to MP and he will be attending the MP Captains Career Course at Fort Leonard Wood, MO. It is out in the middle of nowhere in the Ozarks. It will only be around 6 months though...probably. Bad thing about that, we will have to move AGAIN in 6 months. Good thing about that, we don't have to spend forever at Ft Lost in the Woods. So we leave Oak Grove, KY and Clarksville, TN and Fort Campbell and Nashville behind in the next week or so...and I can't say I am not a little sad. A lot of our life has happened here and to top that off I have the curse of being a very sentimental person...GARRR.

Ok, so I skipped a lot of stuff for the sake of making this as short as possible, but now I think I can start off anew and I will truly try to keep a weekly blog posted. I'm already angry at myself as it is for having slacked off and not kept record of all the things that have happened in the past 6 months. It would have been precious to me later, I'm sure.

Another week has passed, another weekend here. Time is going so slow and so fast all at once. Went to the doctor's again on Friday, nothing again. I was starting to get really worried for a while until I found out Gammer says mom didn't drop until a couple hours before she was born. Maybe that's how this will go? I don't know. Everything that I can think of for the most part is ready. I just need to go to Babies R Us and buy some last minute things since I finally got the 10% off certificate for our registry stuff. I'm anxious to get this over with, and I hope I can push through without pain meds.

Lately I've just been really lazy for the most part. I sit around all day and read or take naps. I should try spending more time outside, but I can't be on my feet for very long before things get painful. Last weekend I found out Mike is scheduled to deploy for 2 months to West Point this summer. Needless to say, neither of us is happy about it at all. No sooner do I get the chance to move down with him and the Army has him off on some other assignment that would be better suited to someone who is single and doesn't have a newborn baby. Well, such is our life. Originally it was supposed to be for 3 weeks, and now it's up to 2 months so it went from sucky to bullshit real quick. However, now they may be putting him back down to 3 weeks again, and I'm trying not to get my hopes up but it's kind of hard not to. I have a love-hate relationship with the Army...and lately a lot of it has been hate. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the love comes back before I raise my right hand in December. Mike does get a promotion to Captain on June 1st though, I am very proud of him.

Our crib got send down to Kentucky and Mike has it all put together and in the baby's room. We are just waiting for the dresser and the conversion rails that go with it. Then we need to get a mattress to put in it and a bedding set. Yikes, more money heh. Babies are so expensive! This initial cost though should be something of a one time thing because when we have more we won't have to keep buying a new crib.

Not sure what is in store for today, but I think I may go down and visit with Gammer and Gaffer along with mom. Probably should be sticking close to the hospital, but meh. I've started packing up some of my stuff for the move, but I hate packing and I never know where to begin. I always end up packing something that I need in between now and when I move and then I have to kick myself and ask myself why I packed it. I am also reluctant to have that look about the place that comes with moving. It always makes things look so bare and out of place and very un-homey. Oh well, I guess I have to at some point. Well I think it's shower time for me.

What a week! I got all my thank you's written and sent out by Tuesday. I was having a panic attack when I looked at my online transcript because the way I read it (which was wrong) made it look like I was short several credits for graduation purposes and I almost flipped out. But I was reading it wrong and turns out I'm just where I thought I would be. Wednesday was a tough day, dad called and informed me that Grandma Peterson passed away. I will miss her very much and I have been thinking a lot about Grandpa and the rest of the family. The funeral was this weekend and because I am due in 2 weeks I couldn't go down to North Carolina for it. That's been pretty hard for me cause I really want to be with the family right now and celebrate Grandma's life. But, little baby Nathan is important too, and I couldn't very well be going into labor en route or away from my doctors or hospital. It makes me really sad that I couldn't be at her funeral though.

Yesterday I went to the doctor's again (which I'm getting really sick of) and the baby is just not ready to come out yet I guess. No dropping or dilation going on and the doctor says he's headed to the 9 pound mark which makes me really nervous. I would prefer to be in one piece after labor and delivery, and 9 lbs is a really BIG baby. He'll probably wait till the 22nd, which I guess I should be happy about because I want Mike to be here...but at the same time I'm just ready for him to come out! Like right now!

Today was crazy. I hosted Sarah's bridal shower out at Presque Isle and today of all days of the week just happened to be one of the windiest days we've had for a long time. So it was tough to hang on to paper plates and eat food and such. On top of that, only half the people who rsvp'd a yes showed up, and only half the people who were invited rsvp'd a yes so I guess only about a quarter of the people invited showed. I was really kind of disappointed about that...I think it's kind of rude to say you are going to be somewhere and then not show up. We had a time opening the gifts with all the wind, but it worked out and I think mostly we had fun. Unfortunately one of Sarah's friends had a seizure towards the end so we had to call in an ambulance and we were all a bit upset after that. Thankfully she is doing alright though! I came home and was simply exhausted! I don't know if it was the wind or what, but I was just ready to drop when we got home so I took a nap. This evening Mike and I finally decided on a crib set, so we bought that and it should be on its way sometime early June. It's exciting to have that taken care of, but it is expensive too. It is a very nice crib though, and it converts to a full size bed for later on in life so it's like buying a crib and a bed all at once I guess. When you look at it that way it's a good deal. We will have to get a matress now, and a bedding set. Bedding sets can be very expensive too, but maybe I will see if I can find one on sale. I think I will go to Babies R Us tomorrow and check out some of the stuff that's on sale this weekend. I'm waiting for a certificate in the mail that's supposed to give us 10% off everything that's left on our registry and I haven't gotten it yet, but there are some things on sale this weekend that are more than 10% off so I will probably take advantage of that.

Nothing much planned for next week, just more waiting around to see what baby's going to do. I'm hoping something will be happening by next Friday which is when I have my next appointment. I'm kind of anxious though, and I'm afraid I will wimp out and take the epidural with him being so big. I really want to go natural, though. Well, I guess I will think about going to bed...

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

Rest in Peace, Grandma
11-17-19?? - 5-6-2009

Finals week was a little bit stressful, but now it's all over and I'm officially a college graduate! I feel like I should be ecstatic, and in a way I guess I am but at the same time it's a little bittersweet. Four years going to one place and making so many memories, not necessarily all good, but some really great...it's finally time to move on in my life in so many huge ways and I am a little sad, but I am also soooooo happy. I know this doesn't make any sense.

After my last final on Friday, Mike flew into the airport and I picked him up and we spent the day together. We went to a Japanese steakhouse for a hibachi dinner and I had chicken and shrimp and he had steak and shrimp. It was so delicious but then that night my ankles swelled up like balloons! It was crazy cause they've never swelled so much before. We went to see Taken at the dollar theater after dinner and it was just a really nice night! On Saturday, we all went down to Edinboro for my graduation. It was long but I didn't stay for the whole thing or it could have been a lot longer. Eric, mom, dad and Mike were all there to cheer me on so it was pretty cool. After graduation we headed down to Sharpsville for a cookout. Jonathan and Jess, Sarah, Joel and Eric were all there and a bunch of other people and it was really wonderful to see everyone and have a fire in the old fire ring! Everyone was so generous with gifts for the baby too (THANKS!!!!) and I just had a really great time! Today, the guys started tinkering around with mom's old motorcycle. We all got to visit more and eat more yummy food. The weekend flew by way too fast, though, and now already I am sitting here alone again wondering what I am going to occupy myself with for the next 3 weeks until the baby is due. I took Mike to the airport and we had to say goodbye again. This time it won't be too long though, and then we will finally live in the same house! I hate saying goodbye :(

So, this week is...unplanned. I guess I can start packing up my possessions and getting ready to move. Friday I have a doctor's appt again. Saturday is Sarah's bridal shower which I need to finalize plans for this week. I need to write thank you notes to all the people who were so generous to Mike and I this weekend! It kind of sounds like a lot, but in reality, I find myself with almost nothing to do and it is very strange as opposed to the rush of the last weeks of college. I already miss Mike terribly. SIGH

So, my German paper is officially done, submitted, and approved! I waited till the last minute like always, but I managed to pass the competency exam and get my credits! I talked to my advisor, Dr. Czejdo, the other day and if it isn't already, everything should be set in motion for graduation by today. I have 3 more finals to get through, one today at 2 for environmental issues, one Thursday at 8 am for geology, and one on Friday at 8 am for history. Studying is pretty much out of the question I think...I can plan on it as much as I want and it's just not going to happen lol.

After my final today I have a doctors appointment for another sonogram! YAY! They need to make sure baby is in the right position for the big day and everything. He is getting really big and now when he moves it is extremely uncomfortable at times. I'm afraid he will be over 8 lbs and that means the clothes we bought for him are probably going to be too small :( Grrr. I'm so excited for this weekend! Mike is coming on Friday right after my last final, Saturday is graduation and then the baby shower! I just hope it doesn't rain on Saturday.

I have to turn in all of my Army TA-50 that was ROTC issued this week. I have been putting that off, but I think I will sort it all out tomorrow and take it in on Thursday. I don't have any finals tomorrow so I will probably do that and also get some cleaning done around the house. I'm trying to do some cleaning right now, but I am being super lazy and writing this instead. It's all really just to keep me busy with something else so I don't have to study hah. I don't expect this final to be too difficult anyway. We will see I guess. Ok, well back to cleaning and then a much needed shower!

Wow, ok so I missed last weekend. I've been super busy with all kinds of stuff.

So my excuse for last weekend would be that I left a big battle analysis project on Operation Market Garden till the last minute and was working on it Sunday and Monday up until I had to turn it in and present it on Tuesday. I even skipped my Tuesday morning class, hah bad I know. I tend to do that...as in leave things to the very last (and when I say last, I mean like 10 minutes before class last) minute. Well, it turned out ok I think...or should I say I hope. Now I am putting off doing my German paper which I told myself would be due tomorrow even though there is no real due date. I hate it when professors leave me that freedom. I need them to give me a due date or I won't get it done. I really need to get this done and turned in though, it's a very important paper for some very important credit...basically the determinant to whether I graduate or not.

So today I got up and cleaned the mess in the kitchen up. It was full of dirty dishes cause mom and I were being lazy all week. Then I tidied some stuff up in my room and got some more baby research done. Lately I've been doing things to prepare for his arrival. I was researching diapers yesterday and today online. If you're wondering why I was researching diapers, here's the deal. I'm planning on cloth diapering and there are so many options out there these days that it takes a lot of research to figure out what to invest in. I don't think I can use disposibles on a regular basis and keep a clear conscience...they are pretty horrible for both baby and the environment. I know what you're thinking...what a tree hugger, right? Nope, cloth diapers are actually more economical than disposibles. They are non-toxic and don't cause as much diaper rash as the nasty chemicals in disposibles. And one of the best parts about it, they don't take 500 years to decompose :) Most are made from all-natural materials like cotton and hemp, and you can just wash them and use them over and over :) It's great isn't it? I mean, since when is the cheaper alternative actually the one that's better for everyone!! Yes, it takes a little more work but that's cool with me. So that's why I was researching diapers. I also filled out a pre-admission form for the hospital cause I don't want to have to be doing that crap when I'm in labor.

Now for the past 3 hours or so I've been putting together invitations for Sarah's bridal shower, which I finally finished! I have to get grocery shopping done, go give Sarah some of the invitations that she's going to hand deliver, and hopefully get started on my German paper. I'm feeling much more accomplished today than I was yesterday. I was not feeling well yesterday at all. It was a beautiful day outside but for some reason I just felt like crap. I should figure out something for dinner tonight as well. Any suggestions?

Just 2 more weeks to push through and I'm done with college!! That's pretty sweet if you ask me :)

This week is going to be somewhat busy. Last week was ok I guess. Had another Spanish test on Friday and I am not at all looking forward to finding out how that went. Friday evening mom and I went down to Edinboro for the Celebration of Excellence Ceremony where I received my stole for Cum Laude. It's red :) I was, however, very angry because I was supposed to be recognized as a candidate for commission with some of my fellow cadets and I was completely overlooked. I was not invited by the colonel and I was not listed as a candidate for commission in the program. I am angry because I have spent four years dedicating real time and effort to the ROTC program, and I still actively participate in mentoring and counseling cadets to prepare them for LDAC this summer. I will finish my ROTC obligation AND graduate this spring. The Army refuses to commission me while I am pregnant so I have to wait till December, but please explain to me how this somehow makes me no longer a candidate for commission and no longer worthy of being acknowledged among my peers as a cadet who has completed the requirements and dedicated 4 years to the program! This is beyond unfair, it is intolerable! It may be hard for someone who hasn't been through what I have to understand where I am coming from or even to understand why it matters so much that my name be on that little program and that I be acknowledged. Probably all of the cadets who had to go to this dinner and be acknowledged didn't want to be there, so why should I care right? Well, I've surmounted a lot of odds and obstacles.. especially over the last year and a half, and I DESERVE TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED.

I spent my birthday with mom and Gammer and Gaffer. Gammer and Gaffer treated us to Olive Garden, one of my favorite restaurants, and I had my normal stuffed chicken marsala. It was delicious and really nice to spend that time with them. I missed Mike rather dreadfully, though. I guess I had this idea that when he was finally home from deployment I would get to actually spend special days together with him. Sometimes I wonder if that will ever be the case as long as one or both of us are in the Army. I hope America is grateful for us because sometimes it seems like a waste of time and a lot of unnecessary sorrow. Anyway, today I have been entirely unproductive and have spent most of my time either napping or playing on the computer. Yes, I do have work to do, I just don't have much motivation to do it. It's starting to get down to crunch time though and I almost wish someone would just light a fire under my ass. 27 days till graduation and some big projects to get done before then. I will be so happy for graduation and the cookout to finally be here. I will get to see my Michael again and family and friends!

I have at least two tests coming up this week: Environmental Issues test on Tuesday and Geology test on Thursday. I have a small presentation to do on Tuesday for military science, and I have a large battle analysis project that I believe is due next week for the same class...haven't even started it yet. I have to read a short story in German and write a 3 page summary of it in German and submit that to my German professor for my required 407 credits. I have to see my advisor soon to make sure everything is in order for graduation, and I believe I have to purchase my cap and gown (yuck!). I have to write 3 more film reviews for my environmental issues class, and I have to survive two more Spiller tests without completely failing. I am a little bit stressed right now, heheh. So why can't I just get these things out of the way? ARGH and yet here I sit writing this blog

Well I am famished so off I go to search for food

I can hardly believe it's almost April! That, of course, means that my birthday is coming up soon. Wow 22, and I remember when it seemed like 22 year olds were so old hahah. Mom and I went back to Babies R' Us yesterday to put more stuff on the registry. There were lots of things I forgot the first time so we took care of most of that and I feel much better. The invitations are out and we already have some confirmed guests, which is really cool! I want this to be a fun celebration! April means that I have to finish up lots of work for school though, so the celebrating can't begin yet. Yuck, I will be so happy to graduate and get out of Edinboro!

So last week's Spiller test that I was so worried about actually went alright! I crammed on wikipedia for about an hour or so before the test and I got an 84 instead of a 63 this time! hahah I know that's not great, but all things considered (and those who have had Spiller know what I mean) it isn't that bad. Took a quiz in Spanish on Friday, and it was one of those times where immediately after taking the quiz you know exactly what you did wrong and you're just like D'OH! heheh, yeah. Well, there's only about a month left of school which is pretty darn cool and I am definitely looking forward to May 2nd.

Mom and I both seem to be ailing with some sort of lethargic stomach bug...well it causes lethargy at least. I don't know, yesterday both of our stomachs were hurting us and neither of us had much of an appetite. Today isn't much better for me, although I do feel like I am hungry. My head feels like crap though and my stomach is still not feeling so great. I'm hoping it goes away, and fast. I need to go to the grocery store and stock up a little on some food. I must force myself to pack a lunch all week this week as it costs too much to eat out and fast food is definitely not good for me or the baby. My problems would be solved if I could eat lunch meat, but since that's on the list of forbiddens it makes things hard when it comes to figuring out what the heck I should make my sandwiches out of. I don't like peanut butter and jelly either, so don't even suggest it. Usually I get a rotissery chicken and cut that up throughout the week to make chicken sandwiches. That turns out really good, but I get tired of the same thing day in and day out. Fruit is a must have for lunch packing! I looooove fruit!

Time to find some lunch I think

Another uneventful week. School is becoming a real drag and I'm ready to be done with it all. There has been more sunshine lately, though, which puts me in a bit of a better mood. The first day of spring I woke up to a little bit of snow on the ground...yuck.

Mom and I planned on going down to church this morning and then going and spending time with Gammer and Gaffer and Aaron. Unfortunately, her truck overheated around the Edinboro exit so we had to be rescued by Don and his buddy who brought mom's car up. We still made it down in her car after we took the truck to the local shop. It was nice to see Gammer and Gaffer, and Aaron again. Mom and I worked a lot yesterday on invitations for the baby shower in May. We finally set the date and got all the invitations made and now we just need to finish them up and send them out. Hopefully people can make it...we are afraid that the guys in the family will see the words "baby shower" and freak out and think it's a girl thing or something. I am going for the nontraditional, lets-all-get-together-and-have-a-cookout, BYOB type of baby shower. I hope they all understand that and don't get all icky cause they think for some reason that babies are a female affair. I hate that stupid victorian idea. Well anyway, we will see I guess.

Mike bought plane tickets to come up for my graduation and for baby time. Unfortunately he can't come up for my birthday which kind of really disappoints me, but it's too much money anyway. He would be a great birthday present. I really should be studying for this test I have tomorrow in Spiller's class. I don't know the material and I'm really not looking forward to it at all. Blah, school is such a drag! I also have a translation project I need to work on for the German class I am supposed to be testing out of for credit this semester. I know I would feel much better if I just sat down and got it over and done with. It's the actual sitting down and getting it over and done with part that I can't seem to bring myself to do hahah. Oh on the way up from Sharpsville mom and I saw a bald eagle out in a corn field tearing away at some unfortunate rabbit or something it had caught! It was fantastic! When I first saw it I thought it was a turkey, but then I looked closer and I saw the white head and undertail and I was like WOW a bald eagle!! Really a magnificent bird! So we stopped and watched it tearing away at flesh for a couple minutes and then we moved on. So cool.

I am in much need of a dentist appointment. I have been putting it off for years because I really do not like to go to the dentist, but my teeth are saying they need it. I'm afraid of what will be found heheh. This week was cloudy in lots of ways. I'm just bummed in general being back from Kentucky and missing my man more than ever. Sometimes I feel like I miss him more than he misses me but I can't prove that I guess. School is SSDD. I have some projects I really need to start working on but haven't yet. I need to go see my advisor and make sure my credits are all where they are supposed to be for graduation. It's so hard to get ahold of him, he is rarely in his office when you go and he is just plain hard to come across. There are a couple things I should probably be doing in preparation for graduation too. I'm to the point where I honestly just don't care. Give me my diploma and let me go.

My friend Sarah and I went out on Saturday morning to hunt for bridesmaid dresses for her wedding. We've finally found them and all is resolved!! Still waiting for a refund from David's Bridal though cause I sent a dress back to them and I still don't have my money back. The rest of Saturday I was completely unproductive and spent being lazy and taking naps or watching movies. Mike went out on Saturday evening and I couldn't help but be a bit jealous because I haven't been able to go out for so long and I would really like to have a few drinks sometimes. That and I haven't felt pretty or sexy for just as long and I am longing to wear my going out clothes again heh. I love my little baby boy though, don't get me wrong. He's getting big and I'm feeling more and more stretched out. He sits on my right side and ONLY on my right side. Apparently the left side of the womb is not appealing to him which makes things rather uncomfortable for me. I understand what women are talking about when they say the second trimester is the comfortable part cause things are starting to get uncomfortable again now that I'm well into my third.

Mom and I went out a bit today. She had coupons for Teresa's deli, which is like my favorite place. So we went and got lunch there and took it to the little Glenwood Park to eat. It was a bit chilly as the sun was behind trees, but it was nice to be outside for a while. Then we went to the mall and looked at craft stores for invitations for the baby shower. Couldn't find any there so we went to Visionworks to get mom some new glasses. Then we stopped at Wal Mart and found some blank cards that will do just fine for invitations...we'll just have to write them out or find a way to print them. I was getting tired and testy by the time we were done with it all and I accidentally put a scratch in the truck today which was no good at all. It was good to get out though as sitting around at home is really dull. I'm ready for the weather to warm up, but I don't have clothes to wear for warmer weather and I am not in a money spending mood lately. I guess it's partly because I find it so pointless to buy clothes that I can only wear while pregnant...but I should probably make the investment because I am sure this will not be the only baby.

I am now contemplating what I should eat for dinner. I think I will have another hamburger, but this time I will put it on a bun. Last night I had one just plain with ketchup and mustard on it. It was good but I think a bun is needed today. I hope Mike calls again soon, our last conversation ended on a sour note and I really don't like when that happens. Grrr heh heh. I still love him :)

I am finally mostly over my cold...or whatever it was! As happy as I am about that I can't help but notice the irony in the fact that it came on spring break and now that spring break is over with it is almost gone. I guess I should be happy I didn't have to miss any class over being sick or try to keep up with stuff while I was feeling like a squished racoon. I think I would be much happier if I had been healthy and not out of it for the small amount of time I got to spend with Mike, though. Poor guy, he is so good to me. There I was, pregnant and sick as a dog and he was patient with me the whole time. I love him :)

Today I went to another Dr appointment. I had to drink nasty orange glucose stuff beforehand so they could take my blood and test for gestational diabetes. I hate it when they take my blood! I go back in two weeks again cause appointments are getting closer and closer together now that I am in my third trimester. I don't think I've been to see the Dr so much in my life! Well, baby is doing fine despite my bout with the plague which is very good! It's getting closer and closer to his birthday and I'm getting a little more apprehensive. I'm sure it will all be fine, I just really want Mike to be there when it all goes down and there is 0 guarantee of that. We will see.

Yesterday Mike and I went down to Opry Mills Mall and walked around a bit and ate at the Rainforest Cafe. Much overpriced for it's tastiness if you ask me, but it wasn't bad. Then we drove to The Hermitage, homestead of Andrew Jackson where we looked around at the little museum shop but didn't actually go on a tour cause we didn't have time since my flight was at 5:18. We will go back there sometime now that we know where it is and go on a tour. Then we stopped at this weird dam on the river...I am not entirely sure which river either...maybe the Cumberland? Well anyway, weird dams on weird southern rivers make for weird lakes, and so lo and behold there was a corresponding weird lake hahah. Anyway, we were just trying to waste time before he had to take me to the airport. Ah airports; I have a love-hate relationship with airports. They can either mean I am going to be very happy soon or they can mean I am going to be very very sad soon. Yesterday it was the airport's time to mean sadness. Yes, we had to say our goodbyes with much sadness... But hopefully he will be up for my birthday and so I am very much looking forward to that.

So spring break is over, and today was hard in lots of ways. Senioritis is getting out of hand and I really need to focus if I'm going to make it through the next 8 weeks. I find it hard to even pretend to look like I care now. I hope this is not too noticeable to my professors...hah. I'm told that someday sooner than I think I will look back and wish I was still in college instead of out working. I understand working will be a drag in its own right, but I find it hard to believe I will ever wish to be back in college. I certainly don't wish the same of highschool! Well, I think I should find something to eat.

Last week was uneventful and I'm down in Kentucky for spring break now. Flew down on Friday night, got sick on the flight which was not at all fun. Mike and I decided to take a trip out to Mammoth Cave on Saturday. It was raining and kind of nasty weather, but it was so worth it. That cave has seriously got to be one of the natural wonders of the world! We took some pretty cool pictures which I've been attempting to upload to facebook but facebook only wanted to upload like four or five of them and doesn't seem to want to let me do the rest. Maybe I will get them up sometime.

Sunday we attempted to try out our new meat smoker. It's a pretty cool little thing and we were all excited about smoking up a whole turkey and having some delicious meat for lunch throughout the week. Unfortunately it was very cold outside and very very windy and the poor little thing doesn't do so well in the wind. We couldn't get it up to the correct temperature. The bird smoked partially but we had to finish up cooking it in the oven. It's still pretty tastey and I made Mike a sandwich out of it today. We were supposed to be able to spend his lunch time together as he is at work, but he had work to get done that was laid on him at the last minute so I ended up just taking it in to him and coming back home. I have been lying in bed all day because I have come down with quite some sickness. Yesterday I had the sore throat in the morning and it got progressively worse to lung racking coughs and a raging headache. I hope I am not running a fever. I'm not really concerned about me, just the baby. I have this nasty nagging worry in the back of my head telling me it could end up being pneumonia, so I'm prepared to go to a doctor if my lungs seem to be getting any worse. I really hope it's not pneumonia. What sucks is there are only like four medications I can take, none of which are all-round cold medicine. I can take robitussin, sudafed, actifed and regular tylenol. Since I'm not really congested right now, sudafed won't do anything. I like to stay away from tylenol cause I don't trust that any medication is really safe. Robitussin may be the one I end up taking if I really have to.

I'm supposed to be cleaning up the kitchen from yesterday's turkey dinner, but instead I have not been able to get myself out of bed. I really need to though because I want to make dinner tonight so Mike doesn't have to worry about it when he comes home from work. Hopefully I will feel much better tomorrow, we will see.